What's your attachment style?

The 4 possible results

• Secure attachment

  You can love without losing yourself and take space without running away: your style is secure.

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  You trust without being naive, you express your needs without making demands and you cope well with absence. Closeness doesn't scare you, and neither does distance.

  Your strength is your stability. Conflict isn't a threat to you but a problem to solve together, and your partners feel safe.

  The trap: assuming it's permanent. An attachment style can shift through hard times. Keep looking after your relationships, and yourself.

• Anxious attachment

  You love hard and fast, and your abandonment radar is always on: your style is anxious.

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  A late reply, a slightly curt tone, and your mind is already imagining the end. You need reassurance often, and distance makes you uneasy.

  Your strength is your commitment. You're attentive, generous and very tuned in to the other person: when you love, you don't pretend.

  The way forward: learn to reassure yourself (speak to yourself kindly, keep busy while you wait) and choose consistent partners. You deserve a relationship that calms you, not one that worries you.

• Avoidant attachment

  You love, but from a distance: real closeness quickly feels cramped. Your style is avoidant.

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  Your independence matters a lot to you. When a relationship gets too close, you feel the need to come up for air, and you prefer to handle your emotions on your own.

  Your strength is your autonomy. You don't depend on others to feel OK, you stay calm in a crisis and you respect everyone's space.

  The way forward: distance is often armour. Try small steps: share one more feeling, stay a little longer in a hard conversation. Closeness doesn't take anything away from your freedom.

• Fearful attachment

  You want closeness and run from it at the same time: your style is fearful, also called disorganised.

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  You really want to be loved, but as soon as someone gets close, part of you gets scared. Your reactions can change quickly, which sometimes confuses even you.

  Your strength is your depth. You feel things intensely, you understand how complex emotions are and, by recognising this, you're already showing courage.

  The way forward: this style often comes from difficult past experiences, and it can change. Support from a professional helps a lot in learning to trust without putting yourself at risk.

How it works

1. 1

   Answer the questions

   One question per screen, no right or wrong answers: pick what sounds most like you.

2. 2

   Discover your profile

   Each answer gives points to one or more profiles. You get your dominant profile and your percentage breakdown.

3. 3

   Compare with your friends

   Share your result: your friends take the quiz and see both profiles side by side, with how many answers you have in common.

Frequently asked questions

Go further

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  Attachment theory: from Bowlby to relationship styles

  Secure, anxious, avoidant, fearful: where attachment styles come from, how researchers measure them, and why they can change.

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• Lovemeter

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